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Friday, September 21, 2007

Authors You Would Like To Kick in the Shins

I have been blessed to count among my friends/acquaintances several authors who have published books I have enjoyed, and yet there are passages they have penned that made the toe of my boot itch to connect with author shin. I've experienced exasperation before with storytellers, suddenly the plot of the book I'd been enjoying skews in a direction that makes no sense or veers into the realm of the mundane and predictable and I groan and usually put it down and don't pick it up again. Or, if I do finish it, I don't read anything else they pen. This shin kicking reaction is different. This is more of a gut reaction where I yelp, growl, threaten certain death to the writer, tear up, or actually cry because of something that did to a character I had grown to love.

I know I can't possibly be alone in this, I know that there have to be fans out there that would love to smack their favorite writer on the back of the head, or throw something at them, or as I said, kick them in the shins because of something that they did to a character. Here's where we can share that irritation! I will start the ball rolling with two authors that I would like to at least smack and probably kick. If you want to share, go right on ahead all I ask is that if you are going to share the exact scene, exact book, exact character that you post a spoiler warning.

Example:

SPOILER WARNING: The Door Within Proceed with Caution!



~*~




I was soooo mad when Wayne Thomas Batson had Aidan's flying eggplant* get blasted into smithereens by the shoulder launched intercontinental ballistic missile ! And right before Aidan's eyes too! It was the saddest part of "The Door Within!" I cried and cried!




* No eggplants real or imaginary were harmed in the writing of this example


So c'mon fellow bookworms! Unload your sorrow here!

Those whose shins are in danger from my booted foot currently:

1) Wayne Thomas Batson for what he does to the Padre' in Isle of Swords

2)
Megan Marie Johnson for what she does to Lucius.

20 comments:

WayneThomasBatson said...

OWW! {searches frantically for Tommy's shin guards} Ouch. Cut that--ooh! Ow.

Pais Charos said...

*cries* Padre!! *cries some more* Anne!!

*kicks Wayne in the shins*

I feel really bad for Cat, right now too...I know who his father is, and this isn't going to be pleasant.

*kicks GBP* for what Talon did to Packer.

*thinks* There isn't anything to kick Bryan Davis for...it's difficult to explain why not...

everlastingscribe said...

*Ha* capt'n I am not repenting. What you did to the padre' was done with malice of forethought and I know you'd do it again. Because it was brilliantly executed and even though it tore my heart out it needed to be done. You will not repent of your excellent writing, I will not repent of my shin kicking. ;)

everlastingscribe said...

I would like to kick George Bryan Polivka for what he does to the Sword Master. *SOB* And also for what he does to Taleon *SOBS HARDER*

Pais Charos said...

Aye ... the Sword Master *sniffle*

But ... he went sorta peacefully.

And I still haven't read Hand that Bears the Sword, so I'm talking about THE Sword Master from the first book.

everlastingscribe said...

Yeah I meant from the first book. *sob*


Ohho, and I am an equal opportunity shin kicker, so while we are talking about heart wrenching let's touch on ~*~ Sharon Hinck's

THE RESTORER


SPOILER WARNING:

Reading beyond this point is going to give away one of the characters that doesn't make it to the end of the book.





Ye be warned.











How bout smacking Sharon too for what she did in the Restorer to Bekkah? That was seriously unexpected!

Pais Charos said...

What about Kieran??? I mean ... it turned out ok, but I think I sobbed for pages.

And let's not forget Sir Christopher. *ahem* I won't go into that. He ... I ... they ... aargh! Now that I've finished reading Isle of Swords, I can resume my reading of The Lion Vrie, which I'm told is more heart wrenching, cliffhanging, you want to the throw the book against the wall and kick the author in BOTH shins than Rise of the Dibor.

everlastingscribe said...

:-D I faced m'lord Christopher down and got him to admit that the Lion Vrie is alot like The Two Towers in Tolkien's LOTR. So, I'm not reading it till I've got his THIRD in my hot little hands. There are so many reasons to kick m'lord Batson in his shins though!

SPOILER ALERT:



Below here you will learn the fate of a character in The Door Within who does not make it to the end of the book, alive. And no, it's not the eggplant. Look, I can't even talk about *sob* the eggplant scene*





*There is no eggplant scene. Wayne started it as an example somewhere and I am bound and determined to beat the idea to death with a noodle.





Thou Hast Been Warned!




In The Door Within I cried when Grampin/Valithor died. I did, oh man that hurt. AND WAYNE MEANT IT TO HURT. IT WAS DELIBERATE.

*ahem*

Pais Charos said...

Indeed...I didn't like that part either. *sniff*

everlastingscribe said...

And then what he did to Knock and Bolt though that actually gets WORSE in Rise of the Wyrm Lord because there's more HISTORY given! Talk about turning the knife!

Pais Charos said...

Shhh...I still haven't read Rise of the Wyrm Lord. I'll be reading that after I read The Lion Vrie.

everlastingscribe said...

*HA* you'll really want to shin kick then. *I will say no more*

Pais Charos said...

You better not.

I'm still mad at Wayne over Padre, so maybe I should hold off a little...

Nah, where's the fun in that. But I have to finish The Lion Vrie first. I put that on hold to read Isle of Swords just cause I couldn't stand waiting any longer.

Becca Johnson said...

Yeah, I was crying over Kieran too, then laughing and being extra happy a few pages later. :P

Spoiler warning for Firefish.....


I was so mad when the Sword Master died in the Firefish. And I wanted Talon to get a chance to find God. :(


What eventually happens to Timothy in Mackel's Trackers was upsetting too.

everlastingscribe said...

Ahh! Becca you've GOT to read The Hand that Bears the Sword! *will say no more but hops up and down impatiently with a secret burning a hole in her pocket*

Pais Charos said...

*kicks Christopher Hopper in the shin*

*wails* WHY?!?!?!?!

Pais Charos said...

Don't mind me. *sniff* I'm almost finished with The Lion Vrie and...and...*weeps*

Pais Charos said...

I just finished The Lion Vrie. Take a gander at Christopher's blog - I'm not happy with him.

everlastingscribe said...

Yeah see that's why I didn't want to read The Lion Vrie till he had the third one finished. I go through enough suspense with Capt'n Batson and his writing schedule, I don't need another 'cliff hanger' writer.

Christopher Hopper said...

Just so you know, I bought some new shin guards this week as my wife and I are playing in a local indoor soccer league...

...I'm wearing them at my computer right now. ;)

CH

Poll Results

What Do You Notice First About A Book?
RESULTS! Closed 11/11/09

My attention's always grabbed by the cover-53%

I look on the spine for the author's name-6%

The thicker books are the one that grab my notice-26%

I open the book up to the middle and burry my nose in the pages, sniffing. Scent is important-0%

I flip the book over, ignore the cover and the spine and get to the book blurb-13%



Pick Your Weapon! RESULTS! Closed-11/03/09

Gladius-0%
Hand and Half Sword-16%
Long Bow-25%
Mace-0%
Staff-33%
Pen-25 %




What Kind of Fan Are You? RESULTS! Closed-10/22/09

Shy. I like reading books but I don't want to meet the authors-15%

Avid. I've read everything my favorite author has written!-38%

Curious. I've e-mailed my favorite author or left comments on the blog and asked them questions-38%


What Kind of Word Smith Are You? RESULTS!-Closed 10/15/09

I focus on setting-22%
I focus on dialogue-22%
I focus on action-22%
I focus on characters-33%

What Kind of Reader Are You? RESULTS!-Closed 10/07/09

I try and guess where the story is going to go-44%
I read the book and think how I would have written it differently-0%
I race through the story, riding the words like a rollarcoaster-22%
I race through the book and then go back and read my favorite parts again and again-33%

What Kind of Writer Are You? RESULTS!

Character first--1%
Plot First--4%
Balanced Between Plot and Character--5%
All Over The Place--5%

So All Over The Place and Balanced Between Plot and Character tie for the win! All I can say is that there must be some wicked stories out there. I can't wait to read them!

Scribe is Listening to:


Music:

Chronicles of Narnia Prince Caspian Sound Track.

Books on CD: The Moving Finger Read by Martin Jarvis. Original story by: Agatha Christie

Scribe is Reading:

I am? COOL!

I'm apparently referring to myself in the third person too. Go figure.

Books:

Nightmare's Edge by: Bryan Davis

The Invention of Hugo Cabert (Caldecott Book) by: Brian Selzinck-FINISHED. Mind blowing! Every storyteller should read this book.

FEARLESS by: Max Lucado-FINISHED. Excellent!

Bibles:
NLT Chronological 24/7 Bible paperback
NASB Online at Bible Gateway

Followers

Psalm 49

Psalm 49
A Psalm of Repentance

About Me

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I tell stories all day long. Some with my pen, some with my keyboard and if you can find me, buy me a coffee and I'll tell you one too!

Scribe